Do you ever wake up feeling prickly? By prickly, I mean that anyone coming within a yard of you will get poked and by poked, I mean the person could end up in the hospital? I had that kind of day yesterday. I woke up feeling angsty and prickly. Cruella rearing her ugly head. If I think about it, there is no rhyme or reason. But does there need to be a reason? (Men, I see those smirks!)
I usually beat myself up for feeling this way which does not help the situation. Yesterday, I decided to be honest about it with the Bean after I threw a tizzy fit over our internet and how cussing slow it is (first world problems, I know). I also outed myself to the people I work with because sometimes you just need to let people know you are prickly, right? It's FAIR WARNING. Be-cussing-ware. Only I didn't realize how vulnerable it felt to let people know I was feeling this way. I became afraid. Vulnerability is the buzzword right now, isn't it? Vulnerability. I looked it up in Webster's Dictionary. Vulnerable means open to attack or damage. Whoa. I think that is what I was afraid of when I shared how I was feeling. Do you know that the post I wrote called "The Confessional" has been my most viewed post? There is something to being vulnerable with people. Brene Brown is the mistress of vulnerability. I think she is onto something. Each time I write about a subject, I am making myself vulnerable. And it is scary. S-C-A-R-Y.
After sharing with the people I work with, I received three life-giving hugs. I wasn't attacked or damaged but I was loved right where I was at. People letting me know that they aren't scared of my prickles. And guess what? I felt those prickles soften quite a bit. I see how each of us needs moments like this, where we are LOVED right where we are at. Today, I choose to be open and vulnerable, risking hurt or damage. I also want to be a loving person who is not afraid of other's prickles and to soften those prickles with a hug or a laugh or a prayer. This is love and this is what each of us needs.
What helps you most when you feel prickly? Do you communicate when you feel prickly with people you love? How would you respond if someone told you they were feeling prickly?